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("The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter"
                by Carson McCullers)

Then at last the opening music came again, with all the different instruments bunched together for each note like a  hard, tight fist that socked at her heart. And the first part was over. This music did not take a long time or a short time. It did not have anything to do with time going by at all. She sat with her arms held tight around her legs, biting her salty knee very hard. It might have been five minutes she listened or half the night. The second part was black-colored--a slow march. Not sad, but like the whole world was dead and black and there was no use thinking back how it was before. One of those horn kind of insturments played a sad and silver tune. Then the music rose up angry and with excitement underneath. And finally the black march again. 

28 LONELY HUNTER Booklet.webp


foreword by Roman Nurmemägi
August 2020

I stared at the blank open document for too long, knowing that this would be the most difficult thing to write. The other thing is that I never know how and where to start. Would anyone read this, am I writing this just to myself? Well, assuming the latter, lets start from the beginning.

It was late summer 2019, early morning. I was heading work, listening to all sorts of music on shuffle and I had an idea of maybe next remix album for Madonna Remixers United should be something completely different, if it's going to be a dance album, then maybe it should have more of Mediterranean sound. If we want to be bold, then we should make a ballade album and release it in February for St. Valentines day. Sadly Lukesavant is not so into Mediterranean, African, Mambo or such kind of music.
The idea to do a ballade album was picked up, but to release it in winter wasn't a good idea. In the meantime, I was struggling with my love life, and after a long conversation with Jason (D'LuxeDJ) O'Dwyer, I realized that maybe I should take one step at the time, I shouldn't rush things. Eventually everything will fall into place.

So we left the idea hanging in the air. I was still promoting RAISON D'ÊTRE, and we were also working on “Head, Heart & Heels” at the same time, there was a lot of work.

I approached Jason early on with a simple idea, if he could do “Love Tried To Welcome Me” remix, just for me, a sort of pick me up. He agreed, and said that this is his gift for me, because of all of the things I did for him thus far. Promoting his Anthology, making videos, making artworks. Since we got acquainted, we got to know each other much better. He's music always lifts my spirit, brings all sorts of emotions to surface. It was the day after my birthday, when I heard the first demo of “Love Tried To Welcome Me”, I was truly touched, I was jumping up and down and crying at the same time listening to my mix. It's a funny thing how music can hold so much power over someone, and influence you at the same time. The more I listened to Jason’s mixes, the more I fell in love with each note and each sound.

I must confess, I was crying the first time I heard his version of “Bad Girl”, I knew I had to make a video, that was as cinematic as the remix itself. This song was my anthem since my early teenage years. I never had luck with relationships. Every breakup was difficult to forget or get over. So this song was like my umbrella, whenever it was raining or gloomy outside. I would play this song and shield myself from bad “weather”. Whenever it played, I reassured myself, I don't want to feel blue. I 'll show them what I'm made of.

The other song that had a huge impact was “What It Feels Like For A Girl”. Never mind the fact that it was written for Madonna's daughter. For me personally it meant something completely different. When I wasn't obsessing about guys and relationships, I was quite a rebellious and fun to be around kinda guy. After a so called flash-mob, where all of the guys and gals from our clique dressed up in drag. I ended up in a bar with my friends, and it dawned on me: “I know now what it feels like to be a girl and I never want to repeat that”. I would never do drag ever again. Naturally I had to have those two song on this album. I was so ecstatic when 3PM agreed to remix them.


The reason I'm talking so much about D'LuxeDJ is because without his input and dedication this wouldn't be the album it is right now. He played such an integral role in putting together “RAISON D'ÊTRE”, our last years remix album. We spend so much time debating what should be included on his “Anthology Collection”. I've been growing as an artist and as an editor alongside Jason. I think I can say that we made our mark, and we can easily move on to something different. D'LuxeDJ decided to distance himself from Madonna remixes. He wants to be remembered for his music, not remixes he did. That is why on this album he's not credited as D'LuxeDJ.

LONELY HUNTER as an album tittle, naturally comes from “Love Tried To Welcome Me” song's lyrics. “Instead of spring, it’s always winter and my heart has always been a lonely hunter.” While Mary H Clarke was on a break from social media and producing in general, I was basically alone with Channing running M.R.U. operations. We had to chaise remixers, ask them if they would participate, if they would like to contribute, to challenge themselves, making a ballade instead of a typical dance remix. But at that time we didn't had a tittle for this project. So one day we were brainstorming with Channing, I said that it must be a quote from a recognizable song/ballade. I wanted to suggest LONELY HUNTER, but Channing beat me to it. He said that it would suit perfectly with the theme and it's also the name of Madonna's favorite book, referring to “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1940)” by Carson McCullers.

Over the past 3 years I produced six remix albums for Madonna Remixers United. I made countless artworks for each major release. This would be the third remix album.

I was tasked with creating a unique cover deign. Channing was pushing me to make something outstanding, something that would resonate with fans. Something that would appeal to general public, and would instantly be recognized as something original. Just for this compilations I created over two hundred designs, and out of those 200 only one was chosen for the cover. I've spent over two months working on artworks, and when I finally found that look, that particular style, I know that I've drained myself. I've exhausted myself. This hobby became a task, my work that I'm not getting payed for. It's no longer fun to do something like that. I hope you like this album and the artworks created for it. As much as I love making art, and creating for Madonna Remixers United, I must admit that I've reached my limit. I feel like I want to step back. I want to distance myself from making big art projects, that might not even get published. I hope with this limited release I am setting things right. Not only for myself but for Madonna fans as well.

And so without further ado...

We welcome you to ease your disbelief with the soothing sounds of lonely hunter. This album is a musical journey, to be enjoyed and listened to during long evenings. On Fridays when you're getting ready to go out, the first part of this album will set you in the right mood. Once you’re back home and in the after-party mood or just want to chill, the second part will be there waiting for you. Taking you back on a journey.


“The way I need you is a loneliness I cannot bear.”



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